Yeah, Holding back, I've always been good at that, unattached. (yeah)
Waiting for what's Coming next, Things i know i should address, i Feel more Together when i am a mess (Whoa). That's for moments that just came and went, Made amends with you, Then you overstepped that's a line You never should have crossed you have no respect stop with all the threats, Like the more i get to know you i just know you less. Another city i dont know well, Feeling too much like my old self...Backsliding , Backsliding....
Got me in the Sad Feels, Got me at a standstill. Too much time Alone is when it gets real. Future doesnt pop up in the Past well. Outside that's the rear view. Now im going downhill, Dont know who im close with Going thru the Motions, Dont know who to trust when i....i lie to myself and i cannot handle it, why to i waste so much time on things that i can't fix? All these things i hold inside and i just cant forget, Thought that i could let this go...BUT I DIDNT KNOW IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS, LIKE THIS, I DIDNT KNOW IT'D BE LIKE THIS.
Let’s become the light
Reality isn’t real anyways
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about
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….Hell is EMPTY all the devils are already HERE….
Name is Madison, and I’m currently recovering, I have been physically tortured on a repetitive bases, abused from childhood and onward. the mental torment still around… I have not even had the attention span to get on here and think or type….
(as I go through this journey the LORD will heal me, its the only hope I have)….I still have hope….. -
I kept holding on
long after it started to hurt,
telling myself
love was supposed to feel like this.
Until one day I realized…
this wasn’t love.
It was survival.
And I deserved so much more.
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While you forgot me, I saw your face everywhere.
While you lived freely, I was stuck in flashbacks.
While you got richer, I got on Medicaid.
While you slept peacefully, I couldn’t sleep.
You moved on.
I survived.
While you built a family, I rebuilt myself — and turned my pain into art.
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I’ll love you, sure—But not by rule, Not like they taught us back in school. No roses, poems, or holding hands,Just matching socks and learning plans. You’ll know I care when I repeat your coffee order, Word for sweet. When I remember how you hate the texture of that paper plate. Don’t ask me to make perfect sense— My heart is wired like a fence,All tangled vines and odd repairs,A mailbox full of unpaid cares.But if you need a place to land—
I’ll build a world with just one hand.
Let’s become the light 
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